Eden's first trip to Disney.

My son amazes me every day.  He is so smart and intuitive even at his young age.

At Disney he was looking around so amazed and happy.  It was perfect weather for the perfect day with family after laying my grandfather to rest yesterday.

Why does Disney make us all feel like we are 5 years old again when you get there and 100 years old when you leave.  I love it!  I am so happy to my little man gets to experience so much where we live.

goodbye grampa

we laid my grampa to rest today.  so i wanted to list the wonderful things about him here so that someday Eden may know how great he was.

v  he took care of my bed ridden granny for 10 years before she passed away

v  he took me to a renaissance festival when i was 4 and bragged that i could build a loom after climbing around and studying it.

v  he gave me my first job, helping him sell plants at the farmers market and not getting mad when i played most of the day.

v  he always said that i was the most like him out of all of his grandkids.

v  he loved the fact that i would go anywhere he would take me.

v  he had a 9th grade education but could solve almost any math problem using logic.

v  he never allowed his southern up bringing to make him a bigot.

v  he had a million different careers over his life time.

v  he could tell the same story the same way a hundred times.

v  he served his country

v  he knew everything there was to know about plants.

v  he was a lifelong winter gardenian.

v  he always called me and my sister "boy."

v  he was one of my favorite people.

these are a few things that made him great (i may add more as life goes on)

Feeling Bad

So I mentioned to the boys' mom that Teddy Bear had told be that he and Sugar did not have costumes.  I told her this after Halloween and after I new that she bought them costumes.

I don't even know why I did it, I should have told her before Halloween or not at all.  I think I didn't mention it because I am always afraid of making her feel like a bad mother.  I really want to scream at her that she needs to act it work before it is too late.  I do not think that she will ever convince Sugar to move in with her, because he has a best friend where his dad lives and I don't know that she wants Teddy Bear by himself even if he would leave his brother.

She says that they can come live with her when she gets a house, but they CAN live in an apartment... Maybe they are better off with BadX.  He has A LOT of faults but he does love them, I guess that counts for something...

I stay silent even when I shouldn't and I do not say anything to either parent that could jeopardize my time with the boys.  Not sure what that makes me :/

Baby sitting

	BadX called and texted me earlier tonight to ask if I could take Teddy Bear for the weekend or really just during the day on both Sat and Sun.  He will be working with his girlfriend because her business has picked up and that way she does not have to hire someone else and the money stays in the household.  Sugar will be with a friend so he is covered.  She will still be in control of the money though, so the boys will still not get anything. Dang it. I shouldn't say things like that... I hope that they work out as a family and that she starts including the boys in as much as she does with her daughter. Well anyway, I knew that it was going to be hard to convince Perfect and I was right.  I got "I am nobody's baby-sitter!" Even though I pick up Gorgeous at the drop of a hat with a minute's notice.  Although his thing is that he want to spend time with HIS daughter and the boys are not mine.  I don't think of it that way, the boys want me in their life and I want to be there, so I am not a baby sitter I am spending time with them. It took pouting and whining, but he finally said that we could get him just tomorrow (Saturday) and that I should be grateful.  REALLY!!!!! Ugh, well maybe after we have him here he will change his  mind and let him stay.

BadX's girlfriend texted me today to take Teddy Bear tomorrow.  According to her BadX got a job, but I don't know if I buy it.  I hope so, but really my work schedule is simple and they knew I would be working, so I think they only asked in order to point out the fact that he has a job.

big brother's birthday

it is big brother's birthday.  i miss planning out stuff and getting to see the joy on his face.  his mother took him, his brother and little sister to a theme park and then a skate park, which he will love and i am a little jealous that it is not me taking him.

it is so hard missing them and loving them so much, but at the same time being happy that i do not have the financial burden so that i can give eden the best life possible.  i will be able to send him to college and buy him a cheap car when he turns 16, etc.  but i wish i could do the same for them.  as it is, i buy them socks and underwear when i can because it looks as if no one else does (crazy i know, but they come over ever time with no underwear on....ugh).

i hate missing these special events... maybe i can talk perfect into getting them next weekend....

family ties

Going to get Gorgeous (Perfect's oldest daughter) today after work.   Eden loves his big sister!  I can't wait to walk in and his face to light up when he sees her.

I wish he could see his other sister Silly.  He is 16 months old and has never met her, she lives across the country.  I am hoping that we can save up to get her here next summer, because it will be Perfect's last summer as a stay at home Daddy. 

It is so strange to me, my parents are still married and never had any children with other people.  My sister and I grew up together and are very close.  To have siblings that you never see is such a foregn concept to me.  Eden is basically an only child he has 2 siblings but he sees one once a month and the other he has never met.

In Perfect's family he is the youngest of 6 and they range over 20 years and that is just on his mother's side.  His father had children before he met his mother and vice versa.  He has siblings on his father's side that he never sees.  So this life is not as weird for him, but to me it is weird having a family spread out all over the place.

I'm sure that he will still be close to his family, but I wish they could all live with us, including my pseudo sons!